Friday, July 31, 2009

Oh Man! Steve you rock.

so i mentioned in an earlier post something to the effect of my liking chess. i have several boards in my possession. one in particular is incomplete and has already cost me over 950 dollars. ( due to an unfortunate ER visit) but today arrived the pride and joy of my chess playing possessions. unbeknown to me Mr. Steve brought back with him a super slammin awesomest chess set with my name on it.

you know whats better than receiving gifts. receiving gifts that are totally unexpected. even better is upon discovering youve just received a gift then expecting something novel or token and preparing yourself to look appreciative and excited, to then find your self shocked and chagrined when an authentic emotional outpouring escapes your body and the people looking on are wondering if you will need medical attention. they with their fingers poised over the cell phone keys prepare to contact emergency response teams some recognizable words escape your mouth and now you become redundant on top of everything else." WOW i love it! no really i LOVE it"..... no really you think? if it wasnt obvious enough you have to tell everyone just how surprised you are and how perfect it is and love it...of coarse.

so anywho i got this chess set from china. kinda funny actually cause like everything you buy theres a little sticker on it that reads 'made in china', interestingly on this masterpiece that is my new prized possession i can find no 'made in china' even though it was made in china.

did i mention i love it.

note to steve: how very thoughtful. i cant tell you how much it means to me that you would on your own consider me and my interests enough to choose such a spot on gift like this just because. i dont expect i will be hugging you or anything at next our path meet. but when i received this bodacious gift i already gave you the biggest mind hug a guy can comfortably give... so i hope a hand shake and goofy huge smile will suffice.

here are some pictures. i took like fifty but i will spare you the flip book version : ) these are some of my favorites.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

fightin for the prize

this post is for the sole purpose of winning a lacy bead thing! please note this contest is at lemonade makin mamas blog which you can find at, this along with my now following her blog and leaving a comment affords me three entries. im sure you would understand if you knew just how competitive i am. and how much my wife would think i was cool for winning the lemonade makin mama contest.

thanks so much

the fire down unda

i have a passion for hot food. i mean really hot food. just to be clear, i like eating habanero peppers whole, drenching my food with dave's insanity sauce, and licking my blazin wings wing basket when those little culinary gems are no more.

i LOVE hot food.

...and until recently it has always been good to me. never had any trouble. the reason i say recently is because the last couple hot food ventures have left me feeling a little jaded. at first everything is fine. fiery heaven. the sinuses are clearing, the pores trickling tiny beads of sweat that cool your hair in the breeze of the fan. but then as i sit down to relax in the sweet heat i get a little burp. not the manly roaring belch im familiar with, but this slow bubbly creeping burp that is somewhat reminiscent of barbecuey stomach acid. then the heart burn then im fine.

that wasnt so bad i thought at first. but then as i woke up and started my morning routine i had the sudden need for a bathroom. when i say sudden i mean now or never. even if you were in the shower bushing your teeth and had a mouthful of toothpaste you had to go immediately and it just didnt matter. (unless you prefer the mess that would inevitably follow for the sake of rinsing out your mouth and drying off).

"So" you might say "everyone has been there" who hasn't had a stomach virus and all the fun that comes along with it.

you would be right. quite right indeed if not for the addition of last nights meal having been the hottest thing imaginable. this wasnt no louisiana hot sauce or jalapeno slices ok. we're talking about stuff that will eat the grease stains off you driveway coming out of you at lightning speed and the consistency of warm butter. LOL thats just gross. i crack me up! im laughing so hard right now i cant see the screen. its just wrong.

for further imagery, the aftermath was something like what i might imagine holding a hot coal between your cheeks would feel like, for the next 30 min or so. to make it worse, this happened several more time throughout the coarse of the day. only this time you knew exactly what was coming. try preparing yourself for that. its just not possible. even better try avoiding doing it while your at work and trying to carry on business as usually only to finally give in and go running down the hall and find yourself uncontrollably audible in the public restroom, in which the sounds and screams are reverberated and echoed throughout the building thanks to the tile floors and glossy walls which seem to encourage people to listen in for miles around. now try and exit the restroom with any dignity left and get back to work.

as you have probably gathered (if your still reading and havent given up due to the graphic case of too much info) i did not enjoy this experience. the first time was tragic. i felt like i had lost a friend. the second time was just as bad and maybe a little disappointing as any hope of the first time being a fluke was horribly flushed away. ( <---my best effort at a pun) and now any time i crave the awesomeness of extremely hot food i have to remind myself of the new found consequences and weigh heavily the options.

last night i treated myself to bw3's. it was glorious! today i am paying the price. it is costly.

i am a glutton for punishment.


Monday, July 27, 2009

tick tock, tick tock

originally when i decided i would try blogging i assumed i would be telling you on a day to day basis the adventures and happenings that are the floyd's. interestingly enough i have found that while i could do so and do enjoy to do so i cannot possibly fit all that goes on here into this place. so then narrowing it down to just the heart stopping and death defying should suffice. but if you throw in requests and take away a few nights of the evening for working late and family time etc. i realize it is just not to be.

i dont think blogging should be stressful. in fact thats the reason i enjoyed it so much to begin with. it was freeing. i complain and exaggerate stories to my amusement and after all is said and done im feelin all right all right.

heres the new twist. because of my being present here on a regular basis i could not help but take interest in other blogs as they are just saturating the environment that is blogspot. so now add my interest in other blogs and my crazy huge amount of chaos that is my life, with a touch of busy schedule and making up for lost time, and this is what you get....

....well, i dont know what to call it, but its this. I'm ok with this, but i need to feel the enjoyment with out the pressure. im kind of a pressure kind of guy. if there were no pressure from here to montezuma i would make some just so i could comfort myself with the warm presence of imminent failure and inadequacy. even with things that i enjoy i find a way to be competitive, or when things are going smoothly already i find a way to do it better or faster or harder if it produces more of the results im looking for. apparently pressure is some kind of tool. an unhealthy tool. i could use some rest and relaxation, i just dont believe ive got it in me...


well i built a fence, cut off some old ladies doors lives 30 min. away for free cause my boss was feeling particularly cheap and that just aint right, had some fun eating with home schoolers and later friends, then did a so-so job of meeting presentation in less than dress code fashion. its just my style. i can get all fru fru on occasion, but i live in dirty holey jeans and cut off tee shirts. i have always disliked the negative attention i draw, but its so worth the volumes of info you learn about paradigms in our society. i dont mean any disrespect by showing up to church in tattered clothes. but i know its not hip and i do it anyway. so what does that say about me? i dunno. i do know i dont care what it says about me because thats just it, if you know me... you know i dig my clothes and i love people and i dont like to offend people. but if my clothes are saying to you something like "i dont revere God" or "im a bum" then i got news for you. clothes dont talk. i will tell you again i dont like offending people but if your the kind of person that is offended by my clothes then first of all you dont know me and second im more than happy to make an exception for you cause youre special.

wow i have no idea where that all came from. i should probably go now.

be back soon.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

you gonna eat that?

part 2 of the chris and matt story. so not to very long ago i was sitting in a high school cafeteria, still a little high and enjoying a game of chess with my nerdy friends from the chess club. i was too cool to be in chess club but not to cool to beat the kids at chess during lunch from chess club. in fact i think there were days i didn't attend class before lunch then i skipped out again after playing through three lunch sessions. thats how much i hated school and thats how much i liked to play chess.

but anyway i was sitting there and i saw the most gorgeous young lady i had ever set eyes on. ok who am i kidding, at that age and level of maturity im sure none of those words would have come out of my mouth. more like smokin hottness, or fine piece of .... you get the idea. so our eyes met and i was speechless. i was sure she was new to school as i had never seen her before and prided myself with my great knowledge of attractive female peers. never before had i seen this girl and i had to know who she was. nobody i knew knew, and so i had to introduce myself. as i so proudly tell every one i know, the words that followed were my favorite of this lifetime. im going to marry that girl one day. oh yeah, i said it. isnt that just fun? yeah i know.

so she has this boyfriend and i dont care and i sat beside him and her and just said hey. some awkward teenage talk ensued and then i returned to the chess game feeling very smug despite the less than encouraging comments from my fellow chess group.

turns out i worked with a gal at the grocery, where i was a cart boy, who knew chris and how i could get ahold of her. this gal assured me that she was seeing someone and didnt want to speak to me. but like i always did i got what i wanted, her phone number. a few four hour phone conversations later and a first date that got her grounded for her birthday and christmas we were officially an item. she would have been home on time except for the 45 min kiss good night that was prompted by confessions of true love for one another.

considering all the ways our teenage romance went wrong over the next couple of years our eventual christ centered marriage is a real testament of how much God played a role in each of our lives, bringing us today to where we are.

much more for later, but long story short. i corrupted the nice nerdy church going girl. dragged her through the mud and back again. i nearly died for the third time and at this point was sure i had lost everything. but she forgave me, then he forgave me, and now i have the rest of our lives to make it up to her. she could have left but she didnt. what an amazing thought. i will always remember lying in the hospital only just awake from surgery, the feeling of emptiness and loneliness, hopelessness. when i saw her walk into my room i completely fell apart. first from shame and guilt, then to her her sweet voice say i love you and i forgive you. it was the most intense emotional experience i have known.

well, i now i feel all warm and fuzzy. i have lots to tell you about non-chris stuff but i think i will go cuddle with my dork for a while.


Thursday, July 23, 2009


tonight the floyd kids got their medals of participation. for running. they ran in a series of six races. they only completed five due to a loss in our family (we were in another state) but all in all it was a great experience. they received ribbons and Popsicles for each event and they had a lot of fun doing it. also it was very cheap, as in free. except for the gas and occasional ice cream afterward it was completely free. = ) tonight they rewarded the children with fancy medals for show and some hot dogs and treats. very cool operation and fun for the family. coyote kids running club!

in addition to our running event i went out and tried my skills on the track. a little slow to start but i managed a three minute quarter once and a thirteen minute mile. my legs would have given me another thirteen if not for the bloody blister my heel became. all together i put in two and a half miles and just for fun i ran a four min half mile. not too shabby for a novice big boy like me. i carry 270 well but excel in strength not cardio. the only time i enjoy moving over two mph is in the car. then the sky is the limit... whatever that means. faster is better?

so i guess i should include some doting thoughtful comments about my precious. what can i say... shes a band nerd, she makes me violent when she dances, and she just happens to be the sexiest thing on the planet. go figure huh?

she gave me everything when i deserved less than nothing. im not sure what that would be, but definitely less. she hates feet but loves mine. she loves God and her family. she has sacrificed all but limb and life to be the best mother and wife a woman could be.

life is not perfect, neither is marriage, but i like to think it just doesnt get better than this. rather than even considering the "grass" on the other side of the proverbial fence, i prefer...what grass? there is no other for thine eyes, i have found the one my heart desires. she is the princess bride of a lowly peasant. i could never be more humbled than the day she said, "I do".

love you Mrs. Floyd.

on a side not here are some lyrics for your consideration. you may want to read with your mind covered up...

Yes, she's my lady luck
Hey, I'm her wild card man
Together we're buildin' up a real hot hand
We live out in the country
Hey, she's my little queen of the South
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

She wakes me every mornin'
With a smile and a kiss
Her strong country lovin' is hard to resist
She's my easy lovin' woman
I'm her hard-workin' man, no doubt
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

Yea, a pickup truck is her limousine
And her favorite dress is her faded blue jeans
She loves me tender when the goin' gets tough
Somtimes we fight just so we can make up

Lord I need that little woman
Like the crops need the rain
She's my honeycomb and I'm her sugar cane
We really fit together
If you know what I'm talkin' about
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

This time I found a keeper, I made up my mind
Lord the perfect combination is her heart and mine
The sky's the limit, no hill is too steep
We're playin' for fun, but we're playin' for keeps

So draw the curtain, honey
Turn the lights down low
We'll find some country music on the radio
I'm yours and you're mine
Hey, that's what it's all about
Yea, we're two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

Lordy, mama, we'll be two of a kind
Workin' on a full house

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

so if you didnt already know... may as well hear it now. a lot about me in a little bit of space. no really, alot. when i was two my parents got divorced. my mother left my drunken drug addict dad (thats how she always put it) for my drunken drug addict step dad (thats how she never put it). i would say it hurts still. more now of course, knowing she could have stayed with my dad and been just as unhappy as she was all those years. but she didn't. my dad is an interesting fellow. he had four children with four women. my mother had me then my brother fifteen years later with my step dad. then theres my step sisters, 2 of em. both of them had diferent mothers and my stepdad as a father. that makes me probably the only person you know with 2 brothers and 4 sisters and grew up an only child. crazy huh? back to dad, k, he used to take me to parties with drugs and alcohol, i was maybe five the first one i recall. i think he the only person i ever saw staggering drunk witnessing to people about jesus with a joint in his hand. thats the kind of religion i got. in his defense grampa was a ufo chasing drunken seance kind of christian whod tell you jesus was coming back to get us in a ufo. so at least dad broke that pattern. aside from the craziness, dad was and still is probably the hardest working man i know. and he was always taking us camping and fishing and to strip clubs and biker rallies. that was kinda wierd. but usually exciting.

mom, work all her life to make ends meet. step dads money went to the important things and moms money paid the bills and if there was any money left then we got food. i will never forget her working all day to come home to my step dad passed out, and make enough food for just me to eat cause we didnt have enough for both of us. id try to share and shed tell me she would eat later... but she didnt. then shed clean the house and put me to bed and i would fall asleep listening to her cry and him yell. she always smiled at me though. she is the strongest person i know. hands down. i watched her for many years endure things i know now were out of her control and and she kept it all together for me. i will never understand completely, but at least now i know why.

we were very poor at the start of my recollection of life. most of the pictures we have validate my memories. to add to it i was really smart at a young age. which might have been a highlight at the time if it were not for the fact poor, intelligent, socially inept children got beat up all the time. at least this was my case. my clothes looked funny and i liked to read and play pretnd by myself and for some odd reason this made fifth graders voilent. so nearly everyday for the better part of one and a half years i ran as fast as i could to get home from school but it was never fast enough. and even better than beating me until i bled was getting tossed into the local trailer park dumpster the height of which was such that i could not escape until my mom came to get me after work. my step dads response was usually to tell me where the fight went wrong and wish me luck next time.

my step dad was that kind of guy. nothing was ever good enough. any thing i attempted to accomplish was judged (pardon my french) half-assed and no good. " if your not gonna do it right, dont do it at all" for 16 years i listened to that. im still mad about it. hypocrite. this im sure has left some underlying personality issue i have yet to face. but im still working out all kinds of kinks. (concerning those non apparent flaws edie, yeah, Mr. flaw right here. just dont let the cat out of the bag. k? our little secret : )

now back to me. basically at 15 i was the angry confused hormone driven product of lifes circumstances to which a very many large number of people fall victim to. when i found the freedom of drugs and alcohol, the comfort and security in friends and the empowerment of earning your own living (by what ever means necessary) i realized that i no longer needed family or school or church or anything that was my life up until then. at that point my anger turned to somethign more than an emotion. it was my life in action. i did everything possible to push myself as far from the hurt as i could.

by the time i was 18 i was well on me way to dropping out of highschool. i was no longer the scrawny unsocial poor athsmatic child i once was. genetics were good to me after all and my football wrestling and weightlifting experiences had led me to belive i was a man. because a man is simply a cussin drinkin fightin s.o.b. right. well thats what i thought. money and drugs were easy to come by. i sold drugs or stole drugs or stole something and sold it for drugs . you get the idea. if i wanted it i took it if i couldnt take it i bought it. if i couldnt have it i would destroy it.

so many overdoses and shootings, and burglaries later i found myself sitting at home telling my girlfriend (now wife) not to worry cause i was goin out for the last time and that would be it. well i didnt know it but it was in fact the very last time. the police showed up like so many time before. we dropped our stuff and ran.... oh how i could run, not like the wind, faster than a speeding bullet perhaps?...ha. but i would run so fast and never get caught. but to my suprise any finally demise. the place i chose to hide out after losing the police officers enroute was in some bushes next to a house where an old lady was sleeping and my commotion had disturbed her so she alerted the police of her delimma and where abouts and ultimately mine.

so i dont like dogs much. if you can imagine. i spent the next few minutes of my life fighting a k-9 officer and by fight i mean i was brutally attacked by a huge dog while police officers stood round (kinda camfire-ish actually, i wouldnt have been suprised if somebody broke out some kumbayah) with thier guns drawn and watched for about two minutes. thats a really long time in dog years. i had it coming though, what else can i say?

none of us knew it at the time but i was dying. as i sat on the squad car and waited i told the officer i didnt feel so good, he laughed and then i went into shock. after arriving at the hospital the nurse tried to take my pulse and it didnt work because my brachial artery was no long attached to my arm. she notified me by looking at the doctor and say with mouth wide open and eyes popping out of her head, he doesnt have a pulse =0 ! this made me feel much better and so to celebrate i went into shock again. two hospitals and a several hour surgery and somebody elses blood later i had a new vein from my leg in my arm and over 100 staples to hold my wounded body together.

this, i must now say, was the greatest thing i have ever experienced. only just above my marriage and birth of my children for the simple fact those things i cherish most are mine today because i met christ in that hospital because of those things. i know people in this world suffer more than i ever began to. and there are still many who struggle through this life with out God full of anger and hurt as a result. but i am most thankful for the trials and circumstances i endured and for the issues im still dealing with as a result. because were it not for all if it. every last bit i would not be today the man i am. i am proud to say i know what it is to be a man. i may be flawed but my heart is new and i have strength in him who i love most. he who love me first and gave his life for me, that i may live. thats the power of christ in my life.

goodnight y'all

oh i almost forgot, them there pictures contain my crew. big guy- chandler, little guy- dawson, middle guy- kellar, and of course our princess nadia. and dont she know it.

Monday, July 20, 2009

superman? super-d-duper, you better believe it

the weekend is officially over. good ole monday took right care of that there. 10:40 pm and it is quiet and calm here at the house of floyd's. Mrs. floyd is sipping her tea and and reading her favorite book. i began work tonight at miss janes place to get her kitch'n all purdied up. it was good and bad. and late. but i was productive which is the important thing. if you are going to expend the time and energy toward something you should probably accomplish what you set out to do, eh? i mean im no expert or anything... just a thinker.

the fair tanked friday night due to the less than tolerable elements. it was horrific but we ended up at miejer instead. blah, right, groceries instead of rides and games and crafts. it turns out i was receiving some divine intervention which superceded my plans, and i was afforded the opportunity to rescue an elderly gentleman from the mens room who found himself in an incorrigible motorized shopping cart. even more intersting than being at the store at that time was how i wound up visiting the mens room. not for the first reason most would suspect but rather because of some stupid lid on a bottle of chemicals that were potentially hazardous to those who found said chemicals on their skin. lucky me i was successful in spraying my hand thoroughly at which point i head to the restroom to run my hand under water for 20 min and contact a poison control center as directed by back of bottle. upon entering restroom i found gentleman struggling to stand up. and while my hands are running under water i hear..."OH! God help me!" ... i waited. and again..."OH! God please!" so im like man he must really need to go to the potty. "can i help you?" i ask..."What! "CAN I HELP YOU!" i said much louder..."PLEASE"

so then he tells me about this scooter that is obviously boken and hindering him from using it for leverage to stand up. then he goes on to tell me hes just so afraid of falling because hes has seven full strokes and shouldn't be alive today. i can imagine he hoped to not have survived those strokes only to slip fall and die on a public restroom floor.... besides the fact his bladder was about to burst. so i helped him to the stall, having already forgotten about the caustic chemicals eating away my flesh, then waited outside for him to finish. so thinking my job was nearly over i expected to return him to his seat and bid him good day, but that was only the beginning. after his business was completed we sat him down slowly and said good by and like the gentleman i waited with the door open to assist his exit only to find you could not exit in a forward facing position. the only way to exit was to back down the narrow bathroom do a 97 point turn and back the rest of the way down the bathroom and exit the way you came in which is now backwards. his backwards driving by the way was less than skillful and even the patient father of four i am i was getting a little restless watching him struggle with the controls, while also thinking to myself what a stupid bathroom this was and what a stupid scooter this was and what a stupid store this was that had such stupid people running it. then in my anger (but still with a smile on my face) i went into action, picking the scooter up with old guy aboard and placing him outside of mens room. we giggled and he expressed his gratefulness and that was that. divine intervention and righteous adrenaline provoking anger all in one fell swoop.

thats my super hero story for the day. tune in next time for more daring adventure and everyday happenings in the life of floyd.

Friday, July 17, 2009

fuel filter

i ran out of gas today. typically what seems to happen in my forever bleeding piece of blessed junk, is that the crud/debris floating around in my deteriorating fuel tank gets sucked up into my fuel filter. i know this because when one runs out of gas it is usually a puttering pitiful end. first you notice a lack in acceleration performance, then you putter a little, then you ease off the gas a bit if not completely and let it ride. cuase in my case im gonna be pushin and i dont want to push any farther than i have to. in some cases though, like mine today, the "gas junk" totally clogs the filter there by shutting down your fuel supply and shutting off the engine immediately.

so have you ever heard the story where this guy runs out of gas on the road and the engine putters out and the car has just enough momentum to roll into the gas station... yeah thats me apparently.

thank you Jesus!

so upon filling up my tank i pump the gas and hope for ignition but instead i got blah. pop the hood and disassemble the fuel lines leading to the filter. place filter in mouth and blow. reassemble, hit the gas and turn the key. vrrrooom! thats a beautiful sound.

she aint much to look at but i love that truck more than anything i own. it was given to me when i first started working for my present employer. a got to know a great guy named neil while working at a local coffee shop and he knew i was riding my bike to work at the time. he decided i needed something to get me around and just happened to have an "extra" vehicle sitting around.

1987 dodge dakota. first year ever made and it still has the original clutch. a little heavy, but would you want it any other way? really? i mean these new fancy things you can practically shift without the clutch and its like stepping on a plie of pudding. i need to feel something there. i need a manly clutch that fights back. anyways, this truck is the best thing ever. even more dependable than the family van we had to buy, that had to be newer cause it had to be dependable. besides if it does ever break i could strip it down and throw it back together in a weekend and it would run for another 200,000 mi. just love it. did i already say that? oh well. time for dinner and weekend fun. probably wont be posting till monday. im all about the resting. i dont need any evil computer distracting me from the holy important tasks of this life. ; )

god bless

Thursday, July 16, 2009

work, work, work!

everyday i get up go to work and work Hard. I take great pride working hard for a living and makin stuff and fixin up. i am alot of things but im nothing if not a hard worker.

on occasion i work very hard. also from time to time i work for a very long time., for many days in a row. usually very hard work and 80 hour work weeks do not coincide. rather, knowing we have a heavy load we pace ourselves and get the job done working hard and steady but not very hard.

i can probably count on one hand the amount of times i actually worked as hard as i could for as long as i could, push, push, push and then giving more when i feel like giving up. when it gets tough i get tougher. its my thing... Hoorah!

yesterday was one of those days. except it had a weird creepy twist to add to the pile of 16 hour crap that was my day.

first of all. i get no family time. it just aint right. i wake up and go to work while they are sleeping then return to find they havent moved. right where i left them! .... or could it be that the got up ate breakfast watched cartoons played at the park ate popcicles in the sun sat to dinner at the table and had baths stories and bedtime and i missed it all. every last bit. it just aint right.

then to top it off im working double time to finish one project three days early to go to another project that needs twice as much prep as expected in the same amount of time, all to finish it off with working in the creepiest place imaginable well into the night.

so work went bad no big deal. it happens. but then after work work goes bad. yeah it happens but that just sucks. now the kicker, this work site in particular happens to be the place where just weeks before a man was horrendously murdered by his son with a hammer.... wow i know. try not to think about that at the end of a long day in the dark when its 100 degrees in this house with no a/c and i ran out of water (i drink a lot of water, this man dont run out of water) and there is no end in sight.

thats about the time i fall apart. but actually i kept it together long enough to come hobbling up the driveway into my poor wifes arms. drenched with sweat my shirt never actually dried since it became wet at 1030 am. not like damp like wet like in a swimming pool wet. mumbling my whiny frustration rather than loundly articulately doing so in order to conserve energy. then as she so sweetly starts my shower and cooks a fresh dinner just for me at 1200 am so i can eat a hot meal i pass out on the couch momentarily before being sleepwalking my way through a hot shower and a hot meal. only to wake up 5 hours leter and do it over again.

i did get home after only 10 hours today. this is acceptable. but just barely and only in respect to yesterday.

now that i have therapeutically worked that all out and feel better having complained in great detail i believe i can move on. but maybe tomorrow. i have some catching up to do here at home.

Home sweet Home.

"well ive been called a self-made man
and girl dont you belive its true
i know exactly how lucky i am
when im gettin this close to you

its high time im giving some praise
to those that got me where i am today

i gotta thank mama for the cookin
daddy for the whuppin
the devil for the trouble that i got into

ive got to give credti where credit is due
i thank the bank for the money
thank God for you!"

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

removing impaled logs

apparently life was ever so exciting today while daddy was working hard for the money. middle guy, as opposed to big guy or little guy, managed to find a small tree limb protruding from his tiny little middle foot. again...middle designation not foot location, he has but two feet.

anywho, in order to remove a small tree limb from tiny feet one must proceed as follows. first find large pair of scissors, cooking tongs, and bottle of alcohol.(not the disinfecting kind, the drinking kind) once youve gathered your tools place your adult sized body on top of thirty pound middle guy in a sitting manner while pouring alcohol down your and his screaming throat. next grasp his ankle firmly between your knees and insert large scissors into wound and cut opening large enough to insert your fist at which point you throw down the tongs once thought to be a useful tool and reach one foot down into the depths of open wound and grasp firmly the tree limb. be sure during this step to pull straight away and swiftly to avoid and breaking or splintering of wood in wound.

and voila there you have it. this all took place today while i was "working". I hardly feel like i can compete with that kind of excitment as a sore back and aching joints do not measure up to nor are they even in the same scope as intense invasive impalement extraction. My wife is a hero. my son is so brave. and i just cant believe the things i miss in just a few hours time everyday.

you will be happy to know middle guy has completely recovered and doesnt show any signs of long term damage. additionally the surgeon is still recovering from her drunken stupor and will be referring all patients to me until further notice.

Monday, July 13, 2009

fair success

The fair was a great time. me and my crew headed out to the big 4-h while mama hosted her beauty spa. Which seemed to be very rewarding for all in attendance. Glad to be of service Mrs. Floyd.

We started off in the Pioneer village checking out the country stuff, my favorite. Me in my best attempt at cowboy attire; boots, fit jeans, buttoned collared shirt with sleeves rolled up, and hat to complete the ensemble. I really want to be a cowboy... did i mention that. So then we headed for the animals and the best thing to ever happen to a barn with animals in it has come to howard county, FANS! you know i love animals, but ever year you can count on the rank accumulation of every animals excrement and sweat fogging up the place. up until this year when to my most pleasant shock the were dozens of huge fans totally moving the air in there which allowed for my most memorable and enjoyable barn animal viewing interacting experience. not only did i have no immeadiate desire to leave but even encouraged the kids to take their time and have another look around once their attention was finally deteriorating. a quick snack and car ride later we found ourselves amidst a flurry of "done up" women munchin on some sweet stuffs and minty lemonade. what a blast right? right. well, its not for me but im glad they seemed to enjoy it. My lady is such a good host.

well thats it for today. i dunno maybe this blogging will turn out to be more enjoyable than i give it credit, however im still skeptical as to how long will it go on before i become occupied elsewhere and completely forget what a blog is.... if only it were possible. its addicting, i have an addictive personality. its sinful i tell you. down right evil!

Summer mornings are awesome here in indiana. its 7 am and the sun is shining, my family is sleeping and the whole day is still ahead of me. I haven't been angry disappointed or injured yet, which will likely happen throughout the duration of my workday. But, looking forward to work is like, YES! I cant wait to get all dirty and sweaty and hungry, and bring it on home to my kids yelling in the driveway as i pull up, "papa papa". and give my wife that first kiss of the day shes so eager claim, and smell that food in the air, and sit down know that it just doesnt get any better than this. Not for me..not right now.

Well, its off to work. before i get sucked any further into this trap of a contraption. That would be a hard one to explain to the boss. Why are you late agian? OH, well, its this blogging thing... you see... yeah nevermind.

by the way, taking the kids to the county fair for some animal gazing and hopefully some petting if its allowed. nothing like gettin up close and personal with a bunch of smelly dirty farm animals. they'll eat it up!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


so basically computers are evil... magic and evil. in case you didn't know. So moving on.

i finally did it. A blogger am I. Just to set the record straight i hate computers and aside from their actually practical uses the whole social networking thing gives me some kinda shivery quivers.

"so", you say, "what gives?" "why are you here and why have you given in to the dark side you non-blogging antimyspace, facebook, twitter freak.

Well I will tell you. (duh, its a blog.) its because of the deep passionate unfailling love for her who is my wife...she rocks. And for no other reason, besides the fact im a total goofball and there are no inhibitions here keeping me from just saying whatever i want and not giving a crap what ever some poor unfortunate soul mishappens upon this place of mine...Mine! its all mine... mwahaha! ahem, as i was saying, not really caring what y'all think of what i have to say.

On a lighter note, I expect this will bring my wife a little laughter. so despite my hatred im sure to find my crossing over to the dark side to be profitable if only to put a smile on her face.