Wednesday, September 30, 2009


so i pulled into the "24 hour" steak and shake. i was greeted by a clerk who informed me they had just closed... its 2:45 and i want a shake and your a 24 hour store thats only open till three and your lights on the highway sign and your closed?

"uh, yeah..."

k, thanks for nothin.

so i go to taco bell and get what i didnt want and paid more than i wanted for it. on my return trip i noticed the now fully closed steak and shake where the employee who greeted me before was standing in front of his open hood and shaking his head. i parked my work van in the adjacent lot where i was working and he shouted over, "got any jumper cables?"

"OH! im sorry.... i do have some but they like just closed dude. slow night."

happy trails sucka:)

Monday, September 28, 2009

my attempt at stripping...comic stripping :-)

so its rough, but im trying it on for size. i am really fond of the name and i think i can do a lot with it unless someone has already claimed it of course... should probably check into that. but any who, i am going to work on some character modification and maybe try to develop a few common places in which they may appear. havent decided yet but im thinkin no dialogue. so with out further adieu i give you My Sentiments Exactly

apparently if you click on the images you will see an enlarged photo. as i do not have a scanner, digital photo will be the means of publishing for now. the basic idea is a family with common family drama and or classic candid moments that simply have no barriers. most families should be able to relate in some way but im guessing most could sentiments exactly. we'll see. maybe look forward to one every two weeks or so. as time permits. this was just something i thought of this afternoon. and conveniently i was home from work.

until next time.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

unconscious consciousness

the title is my current and perhaps mostest favoritest google status yet. periodically it changes. either because a fellow gmailer has posted something witty which demands an attempt at an equally clever response, or i simply am tired of the old one. this one fits.

i was thinking this morning, as i lay in bed reflecting on my dreams from the night, that during the day i almost feel like im dreaming despite my obviously alert state. i intelligently interact with the world around me (most of the time), i use dangerous equipment and drive vehicles, and care for little people. i accomplish just all sorts of things that require movement of my person and even more so appropriately responding when encountering the environment surrounding me.

while i make a good show of my mental presence, i can assure you that i am more often than not in some other place doing something totally obscure. for example, when my wife frequently relays to me things she finds interesting or important she tends to do it in very long periods of time. i find that when she begins her tales i am very much with her. however, much later in the conversation or even at the end i find that im still back at the beginning where we started. i call it a conversation because she talks, i talk (respond appropriately) and so on until its all over. then when i realize that i just missed everything but the first minute of dialogue i confess to her my absence and we have the conversation all over again. and theres no garuantee that i stick around for the second go at it either.

then there are times when she will say to me something and i will think in my head what i want to say. and even think that i said it. unfortunately i dont realize that i have not responded until she has already begun to talk to her self and left me in the dust. " look, see what i did for you? isnt it nice?" she says. "yes thanks very nice" i think. "yes dear, oh i love it! you did this just for me? oh you are so great honey!" she says to her self. "well i thought you would like it." she says. " oh, i do very much, im just so impressed by your hard work and motivation." she says again to herself.....then im back. "What?" i cant help but wonder who shes talking to cause i know it aint me. so she informs me, "well i asked if youd notice what i did and you didnt say anything so i just started talking to myself." " i told you yes and i thought it was nice! what more do you want?" i defend myself. "no you didnt you just sat there." she claims...

so you see, while i am awake more than any other person i know, and perform various complicated and skillful tasks on a daily basis, while also being responsible for the well being of multiply children at any given time, i tend to be a little spacey.

the funniest part to me is the type of things i wander to. its seemingly random, but usually has some sort of ties to something going on around me. if not the conversation i am not aware of then something in my environment that sparked a chain of thoughts that lead to something i could hold on to. for instance, chris is talking about some beans in a soup shes never heard of and she might like to try to make sometime, that makes me think of the beans that the kids planted from the beans they picked off of the beans i planted this spring and how amazed i was that they actually grew, then i began thinking of my silly little garden and the summer we had and how well it did despite the weather, which made me think wow, what a mild summer it was, and then i felt a little smug about all the global warming crap, and then finally i remembered a little portion of a video i recently previewed which explain the relation of the moon to the circulation of the earths water, and the earths water plays a major role in regulating the our surface temperature by absorbing heat from the sun. isnt it funny that the scientist are putting so much concern into the fact that ice is melting in the polar regions (supposedly). if there is that much ice up there that its melting would cause global flooding. and the earths temperature is rising due to rising temperature from the suns "sun spot activity" then wouldnt it only make sense that the earth melt some ice create more water and control the rise in temp. (this would mean that despite the rise in the suns temperature and our ice melting the surface temperature of the earth would only tend to vary slightly in effect) also if the sun did slow in sun spot activity (which it seems to be doing according to the latest reports) then it would only make sense that the resulting even cooler temperatures would then cause ice making in the polar regions and therefore more ice and less water........MATT! ....huh?....." i said what are you thinking about" chris says again when she finally breaks through.

so then im left to explain. usually i just say something like, oh you dont wanna know, but that doesnt usually fly either, so then how do i explain how i am thinking about the sun and scientists and non man made global warming and cooling cycles and my uneducated opinion of them?

speaking of dreams.. i was speaking of dreams earlier wasnt i? my dreams dont have a lot of meaning from what i can tell. most of the time i can even give a logical explanation for their content. but sometimes i cant. sometimes its just random bits of stuff that dont make sense and i chalk up to dreams. interestingly though, seemingly random and inexplicable dreams revisit me in my consciousness further down the line. surely you have had dejavu. i think everyone has experienced it at one time or another. you visit someplace you've never been but its familiar, or you do something you know youve never done but when your doing it you remember something like youve done it.

i have experienced times when i thought i was having dejavu only to then remember that it wasnt something i thought i had done or someplace i had been, but something i had dreamt. ready to be really weirded out. after realizing something seemed familiar from a dream, and realizing i wasnt having dejavu, the dream now seemed very clear and present and i just sat and watched happen what i knew would happen as it was happening because i had dreamt it before and was remembering it now and watching it in amazement as it was happening.... just to be clear this isnt a case of observing the recalling then reasoning. this is observing, recalling, waiting and expecting a specific outcome and watching it take place exactly as i expected it would. when the dream to my recollection stops, so does the seeing of the future stuff, and its over. nothing tragic or significant has ever happened during these instances, and i cant explain it any better nor do i know which dreams it will be or when it might happen. i am just so curious about why this happens and what causes it. if i hadnt experienced it i might have said it was impossible... or at least been skeptical as to why it would even happen if werent at all significant. i dont suppose there is any reasonable explanation. but i hope to find others with similar experiences who might share some input. perhaps it is more common than i think, or maybe there are far weirder experiences than mine. i must say that while it draws the fullest of my interest i realize it is a topic that has the potential of drawing the fullest of weirdos out there and so i dont often talk about it to strangers. in this case there are only a handful of people who actually read my blog and im not concerned about your leaving my high and dry or you telling me that aliens give you dreams about the future so i feel relatively safe.

maybe i should give it a rest now. perhaps next time i will have a cartoon to offer. the latest and greatest in floyd toonage. later

Monday, September 21, 2009

antique roadshow

its 230 a.m. and i am not tired. i worked a good amount today. not too much not too little. i piddled in the yard and played at the park with my younguns and our friends. put the kids to bed and already posted a blog. and here i am, everyone has been asleep for hours. i settled into my space on the couch and flipped through the channels and totally expected to turn in for the night. but my eyes just wont stay closed.

so while i seem to have had a full day and anticipate a 14 to 16 hour day tomorrow i cant tell you how concerned i am that i am not sleeping. i typically dont sleep well. but i do sleep. and when i dont sleep i start to act sort of funny. not funny haha but funny wacko. my already short attention span is exaggerated and im easily distracted. i think about the usual stuff but in greater detail. its like having the radio on and blaring out to your favorite songs, you hear people talking but you cant hear what they are sayin. even better is when i find myself amusing. so amusing that i laugh out loud. and then laugh harder because i laughed out loud and then i cant stop laughing and then by the time its over i am laying on the floor drooling and still nobody has a clue whats happening. i tried once to explain what was so funny, and it wasnt so funny. you know how good it feels when someone who shares your sense of humor encourages you to just keep going but everyone else is like " its not that funny" its kinda like that but you are the one telling the jokes and laughing and no one else gets it.

wow that was just random and i have no idea where i was going with that.

right i get distracted easily. funny. k.

its nice when you forget how you got somewhere to just look back and find the path you took.

its just charming the convenient products they advertise on late night television. are people who view late night television just stupid or are they so tired that they are dooped into buying this crazy stuff. its like hey we have one dollar bills for sale here, AND THEY ARE GREEN! but hurry act now because supplies are limited. if you hurry we will send you two of these fabulous dollar bills for just two easy payments of 14.99. how about the religious people. they sing you a song and ask you if you need more money. then someone comes and gives a testimonial..." i needed four hundred dollars to pay my house rent and i didnt have it. but i saw benni prayin on the tv and he said if i just sent him five hundred dollars that jesus would provided for my needs. and so i sent him my five hundred. i had to sell my car and my blood to get it but i planted a seed and i have faith that somehow some way i will have the four hundred dollars i need to pay my rent so i dont have to make my kids sleep under a bridge.

so basically you have got antiques and poker. the roadshow is awesome but also a little offensive. your wondering how you night be able to save up the money for that new ...... you saw and would make your life a lot easier. then some kid comes in a goes hey i found this in the garage and they are like hey "thats worth a million dollars" but wait" that shirt you are wearing, its from 875b.c. and its worth five trillion dollars" just not right.

i must say this post will fall into the category of like worst blog ever. but it entertained me during my sleepless late night tv watching and i rather enjoyed just spilling out what ever came to mind. so now at 344 i am going to grab a snack and sit here and ponder a bit before trying again to sleep for at least a couple of hours.

if i think of anything profound i will be sure and notify you asap. until next time....


i have always heard it said, "a day of reckoning". in my particular case i will have to say it has been more on the order of months.

i have noticed a trend in my life. its called having children. the mrs. and i are quite good at this particular feat. even more than the actual having of children i have noticed that after each child reaches a certain age, about one, i begin to want more children. this has not been a problem until recently when we decided that perhaps we would not have more children. its not definite. and theres always the unplanned pregnancy ( that i can secretly hope for, except that i realize this is a blog and therefore not a means for keeping secrets even if they are in parentheses) but despite our wants, we have issues like money and housing and health and miscarriage and blah blah blah that we face and kinda sorta lead us to try to be responsible thinking adults when making a decision like having more children.

at times i wonder if i am crazy, times like now when my children all fight the inevitable bedtime and sleep. screaming and crying and fighting to squeeze just a few more minutes out of the day. i know that when they scream incessantly and every fiber in my being cringes and i stare numbly into a wall and wait for silence or go into to shock and fall unconscious... which ever comes first, that i must actually be crazy to desire any more of this chaos. i wake up the next morning hoping against my wifes wishes that just a couple of the kids will wake and visit me before i trek off to work for the day. and then while at work thinking of all im missing and how the youngest is just so old already at one yr and that we do surely need just one more.

each child is just so awesomely perfect and completely unique and make my life just that much more full of joy. and while i understand the reasoning for not having 50 children i cant help but feel like im missing out on so much.

well back to this reckoning. basically my story goes like this. bad guy meets girl, gets saved then married then starts having children. thats what i have been doing the last seven years. the big problem i am struggling with is not the possibility of no more little ones, but what in the world to do now that i am probably done having babies. after all thats what i do. we have babies, raise them to little children and have more babies.

but now theres no more babies and a whole lot of uncertain and untraveled territory ahead me.

my latest assessment of my current status in life is this. i am a kid in my mind, only an adult by age and only driven to be responsible by my intensely passionate need to be everything i can to my family. failure is not an option. i am immature and easily draw by temptation and daily struggling to keep it in between the lines. by every measurement i am where i ought to be, doing what i ought to do. but not because its who i am but its what i have to do. and therein lies the completely vulnerable and bare naked center of me. thats not who i am. i have said many times over i dont know who i am. i know who i should be because the bible tells me. and because other godly men are examples for me. but as for who i am. well let me tell you i have not a d@mn clue and it scares the living daylights out of me...(what is that supposed to me anyway? living daylights, thats just stupid. )

if anyone could tell you who i am and do it fairly accurately it would be my wife. she knows me like any spouse knows the person they live with everyday of their lives. but, when i complain about my self she only encourages me and tells me about the good things i should be focusing on... i know what a stick in the mud huh? yeah so i guess i cant complain there but what im trying to say is despite the fact she knows me probably better than myself she refrains from mentioning anything critical or reproachful, which undoubtedly helps my very low self esteem but in turn gives me a very inaccurate picture of myself due to her biased and filtered feedback.

so in my months of reckoning (i promise not to use that word again) i have have come to some conclusions. while that is not to say i havent more analyzing and searching to do, i have in fact rested upon a few things.

1. i do not know what is immediately ahead of me, but i do know what is ahead of me.

2. i do not know how i will get there, but i do know how i will find my way there.

3. i am not mature, but i am learning discipline, which is essential to maturity.

4. i am not the best husband, but i am a good husband and desire be more.

5. i am not the best father, but i am a good father and i desire to be more.

6. i am not the best christian, but i love God , have redemption through His Son, and recognize him as the source for these little nuggets of wisdom.

in conclusion i find that whereas my seemingly endless introspection gives me more questions than answers, and i am left with the determination that i know next to nothing about me or life, there is one who knows me entirely and can reveal to me knowledge and understanding if and when it is necessary.

it may not seem like a lot, but it gives me hope in this time of uncertainty. if there is one thing i have learned its that what you know and what you feel do in every respect stand alone. KNOWING that God is in control and that he loves you despite knowing every flaw about you is still hard to rest on when you FEEL fear and guilt and hopelessness. reminding myself its ok to be uncertain and assuring myself of why its ok to be uncertain will be necessary to my forward progress into the unkown.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

breaking things

i was doing some reading and there was presented a question that begged my attention. i have long thought on this topic previously but to no end. basically what draws us, with our differences, together?

i cant speak for everyone nor do i believe it to be universal truth. but in my own investigations i have concluded:

1. while people with similar personalities obviously have similar interests in common, they also have similar flaws in common.

2. people with incongruent personalities, despite their difference in expression or analyzation, tend to compliment one another in areas where flaws exist.

i believe the scope is larger than just personality. it is the person at their base.

basically i give you two categories, things that fit together and things that go together.

on the level of personalities, you have a picture of like personalities "going" together, and unlike personalities "fitting" together.

in the first case the two appear exactly the same. each being particularly strong in the same areas a through f. the lettering representing desirable attributes of a person.

in the second the two are polar opposites. seemingly incongruent.

however when comparing the two sets as a pair rather than individually in comparison to each other you find that the results are reverse.

the before incongruent set when aligned in their respective categorical results make up more of a complete and well rounded set where as the other are even more disproportionately staggered.

alone, each person shows categories in which they excel and those which they fall well short. none are well balanced.

furthermore in the case of persons in relation to one another the "go" together category is even more strong in those areas with common traits while falling even shorter in their weaknesses.

there is the saying "opposites attract". and i believe there is some truth to this thinking. while you may be more likely to enjoy someone for the things you have in common than the things you dont. it is the person opposite from yourself who is going to be stronger and more experienced in your areas of weakness.therefore complimenting you.

as for the persons at their base, i will suggest to you that regardless of the labels we give ourselves, we are each complicated and intense reactive individuals. each with an entirely unique perspective that no one on this earth shares or can comprehend. and while we all show certain tendencies, our potential is not finite. God can and will use us to what ever effect necessary as he sees fit. and you will surely find in godly relationships, marriage to be sure, fruitful gains regardless of personality. but he created some to be feet and some to be hands. and we all will work together as one.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


today is officially auction day. every saturday is auction day. not because its the only day that auctions take place round these parts but because its the only day i am able to go to auction and still it is only on occasion due to busy schedules and lack of dispensable income.

i have a friend that introduced me to auctions. it all started one saturday morning while we were supposed to be doing some volunteering at the church for various repair projects and on our way to the parts store he suggested we "drop by" (i say drop by becasue we must have been ther at least several hours) a nearby estate sale and see whats goin down.

from that moment on i was hooked. this was no garage sale, this was no gently used scratch and dent sale with still largely overpriced items, this was everyday household stuff in good condition that goes to the highest bidder. have you ever visited someones house and thought to yourself " wow thats cool" "i need me one a dim"..? well, in this case you can actually have it, you only have to be willing to pay more than the next guy to get it. and in some cases the money is raised for charitable purposes and your finding something you need actually benefits those in need of more basic things.

but even more than the auction i have found that the friend is a huge part if my enjoyment. in fact i wouldnt consider going if i knew he couldnt be there. he makes me laugh and imparts his wisdom in very savory morsels of humor. this guy is the best story teller hands down. let me tell you....well i just did.

i have learned a lot from him about being a christian and a father. and i always look forward to the next chance to just hangout and eat together. something else we share in common. cooking and eating.

i am not very flattering with words but in this small way i hope to impress upon you my value of his person and our friendship. even though i could never actually tell him this in person, as he is to manly and would probably feel uncomfortable with such a display of affection. after all he doesnt even drink out of a straw :^)

Friday, September 11, 2009

drum roll please!

and now with out further adieu, i give you .... lion tattoo. (wild cheering in the background)
so there it is. its a done deal and theres no turning back. i am very satisfied with the results and the entire process for that matter. i had a rather pleasant time in the tattoo chair and the pain was nothing to speak of.

so far i have had no discomfort except for the ignorant application of cocoa butter with shea lotion i applied thinking that it constituted the "any hand lotion will do" remark that was given me. apparently NOT any hand lotion will do and in fact this kind feels like the flesh is being eaten off your body when applied to fresh wounds. it hurt worse than getting the thing itself.

so anyway. it is a lion. it kinda sorta represents Christ to me. (revelation 5:5) and in a more specific and meaningful sense it is something someone helped me relate to which ultimately gives me daily inspiration concerning my presence here and my destination. i will wear it proudly and fully enjoy the transition from non tattooed citizen to tattooed citizen.

probably wont be getting any in the near future. but the experience has been fulfilling and i should not expect that i would be hesitant if ever the enticement to decorate myself returns.

so long for now


there goes the neighborhood

so i finally gave my boys a mohawk a couple of weeks ago. from time to time the eldest would ask and i would humor the idea. once i even agreed and then between getting my clippers ready and actually cutting his hair i somehow forgot and had to break the news. "dude, i forgot" i said. "what?" he said sounding wounded. yeah it was too late. but we got through it.

so the point is i also got a shorter version of the hawk for a whole in the spirit of fun experience. (which i have already posted both theirs and mine) but it was not intended to last. first i was sure that my boss would be displeased and second i didnt realize my wife would actually like it and encourage its continued presence.

a few days later after watching a friend being ruthlessly attacked by temporary tattoos, i agreed to wear one myself because it just looked like so much fun.

inevitably the classic tattoos and christians discussion followed. Mrs. Floyd already has a beautiful tattoo. as do many of our friends. from time to time i have played with the idea of getting one but i never committed to any thing and didnt feel strongly either way.

basically where i stand is as follows. the passage in leviticus deals with pagan worship. in the surrounding text it mentions things like trimming your beard and cutting the hair around your temples, as well as eating kosher food. many christians today eat lots of stuff forbidden in the law and dont think twice about shaving or getting a haircut. yet they dont consider these actions to be offensive or taboo. i think it basically comes down to two issues. why are you getting it and will it cause a christian brother to stumble.

i dont buy the body is a temple argument. i can understand living with habits that discourage a healthy body or mind, such as smoking, abusing alcohol and drugs, eating poorly, pornography, etc. but choosing to draw on your self (temporarily or permanently) something that is enjoyable or meaningful is hardly disgraceful or pagan worship.

the romans 14 issue is what concerns me most. i have to believe that having a tattoo will surely be seen as good by some and bad by others. it really not even a matter of opinion.

the thing i find interesting is that more than likely those offended will be "christians" or simply conservative people. those that may find it alluring will likely be like minded believers or lost people with whom i will have this new affection in common. i am not by any means getting a tattoo for the express purpose of glorifying God. but i do look forward to the opportunity to share my witness with those who it appeals to as it has particular meaning to my new life.

im diggin the mohawk, and at 430 today i will be undergoing the tattooing process. caution to the wind and that stuff. i am really enjoying myself, and not felling guilty for it.

thanks to everyone for inspiration and encouragement. stay tuned for the results. i will post pictures promptly.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Armed and Dangerous

Before you read any further this is totally in its entirety a TMI blog. so if your feeling like not knowing more than yo need to this is a good place stop. :)

I am terribly overworked. i know there are a great many of people who were previously employed and who now would be grateful for any work especially in great abundance, but i cant help but complain about the insane amount of jobs and their "importance". recently i have had four jobs overlap and require attention on a daily basis. this means that i need to be present and productive at each and attempt to stay on schedule. as a result i am sleep deprived, exhausted, and easily strained which hinders further my ability to balance this work and perform well.

BUT, i did have monday off. and i spent a large portion of it with fun loving friends and made the most of the free time we had there. gas station pizza is always a hit. i cant explain to you just how surprisingly tasty and satisfying pizza from the gas station is. but in a word... WOW. its not the best pizza you have ever had. but it soars above these chain restaurants and their ridiculous prices.

also the setting is perfect. plenty of room for the kids to run, make noise and explore to the extent of their imaginations.

the highlight for me though was something i would have never thought could be so invigorating. if i had known the effect it would have on me i would have rushed at the chance to do it much sooner and more frequently.

below is a picture of Mrs. Floyd trying her hand with a mossburg 500 20gauge with 2 and 3/4 in rifled deer slugs. and then the oh so famous Glock 40.

so in just a few days i have began to question random men and try to understand what exactly it is about a woman with a gun that is just so right.

while i will exclude the details of a majority of responses( try to keep it pg 13) i will tell you the most popular opinion is sex appeal.

now how in the world we (men) find women handling deadly weapons physically alluring i can never know. but something about it just screams sex.

another more thoughtful opinion suggested the authority was appealing. women are usually on the receiving end of authority. and men tend to be less submissive. yet somehow a woman holding a gun and having the potential for exerting her authority over you leads men to in some twisted way beg for the opportunity to be forced to do something that her dangerousness demands. so while im not into the whole bondage thing i can still relate to the idea of having an assertive and powerful lover whos every will demands submission. as she is holding a gun.

so anyway. what ever it is. and in what ever freaky way. all i know is big powerful guns that on their own bring thrill and excitement, are exponentially more thrilling and exciting when my sexy wife is the one handling them.

Mrs. Floyd... you go on witch ya bad self. cause D@MN!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

roll over beethoven

well im not apologizing for my selfishness as of late. but i will say that i am surrounded by people who are too good to me and thank God for his grace and for life that i am not deserving of. i have lifted spirits no doubt to some loving kindness and words of wisdom. reality is still heavy but the way i feel inside is calm and collected. not that crazy stuff.

thanks for everything yous whos names shall not be all know who you are.

well today i brings you tales of the sad broken coworker whos ailments are never ending and ever worsening. this year a record of over three weeks unscheduled time off has been tallied. and hes still employed. is this crazy? i mean dont get me wrong i dont want the guy to loose his job, actually i rather enjoy working with him. its just amazing to me that this is even possible.

when i was employed previously for others i was given points, and warnings and reprimands and such, for tardiness. let alone unexcused absences. (which is a whole other miracle which we wont elaborate on.... but i have been given more than my fair share of tolerance for tardiness-thanks greg) but just not showing up at all is a real show stopper. even worse is the "cough,cough, hey(sounding weak and wounded) do you need me today?" which before i get going i will say, why even ask if your not intending to come in any way? cause what like the boss is gonna say yah man we kinda need you here today, and then your like, oh, ok, i guess i will be there after all....riiiight.

so yeah, the real crazy part is hes not even sick. sure maybe he doesnt feel good, but definitely not cant come to work sick.

well how do you know? you might ask. what if he is sick. your just being insensitive. well i wont disagree with you there.

insensitive is my middle name. ask my wife. i am learning to do better when it comes to realizing emotional and rational thinking are not congruent. that feeling a certain way has nothing to do with reality. i experience it myself but i try to deny it until it slams down on me like a nine pound hammer rendering my senseless and curled up in a ball under the table.

but when it comes to work. LEAVE YOUR FEELINGS AT HOME. you are not my wife, you are not my kids, you are not someone i want to talk to about your owies and heartache. you have a job to do same as me and unless you are incapable of breathing you need to man up and getrdun.

working with nausea and diarrhea are not my fondest memories at work. but there were periods between such events that i accomplished great deals of work that needed to be done and may not have gotten done had i not shown up. so what if you cut your finger half off. it only takes an hour or so to stitch it up. get some pain meds and a bite to eat and youve still got a full day ahead of you. before i go to work... which i never feel like doing(seriously why would want to leave the company of my family)... i plan on illness, injury, and working late. anything on that list manages to find itself absent in my day and im all the more happy.

just so you understand what we are dealing with here i will tell you briefly the events that have taken place the last few days and i am not exaggerating.

thursday coworker arrives with elastic wrap on wrist and com plains of swelling and pain. he removes wrap to reveal to me two completely normal wrists and says "look at how big it is compared to the other one." to which i respond "which one is it?"

from that point on most of the crawling carrying doing anything work related work was left to me. to avoid injuring further painfully swollen not swollen wrist.

friday we work in less than sanitary conditions and the one armed bandit assisted me as i crawled around in it. interestingly enough when i saw him saturday, he was the one that was sick, he claimed.

which was the set up.

monday morning like clockwork he phone the boss and said his throat hurt so bad he couldnt touch it.....

What does that even mean!

who touches their throat and what relevance does it have to coming in to work you lazy bum.

so tuesday of course he did not come to work. why? because he was going to the doctor. the walkin clinic doctor. why tuesday and not monday? great question.

so wednesday he did arrive to work but not with any enthusiasm as you might imagine. thats the system. act sick, miss work, come back to work, dont work while trying to get sympathy for a sickness you didnt have that you are currently trying to convince us you did have by your lousy display of acting sick.

so the most interesting part is yet to come.

today his problem is not his throat. the doctor didnt think he had strep and didnt think he needed testing. just threw some antibiotics at it and said "if it isnt a virus this should kill it." see, im not the only insensitive one.

yah, so now that theres no reasonable explanation for missing work what does one do but up the ante. the following is again not exaggeration.

"look, i cant blink my eye" blink blink." see, eye can blink this one but the other one wont blink" blink blink.

i question" so you cant close your eye?"

"well, if i close this eye i can shut the other one. but if i just try to blink, (which is the action of shutting your eye) i cant blink this one." blink blink.

"well....thats weird" what else could i say. LIAR!

but that would just be mean.

so then later on he looks at me and says " i cant even smile with this side of my face (same side as the eye that "wont" blink) see, -smiles with half of his face"

"yeah dude i think my polio is coming back"

at the time i did not mention it but what he meant was bells palsy which is something he claims to have had as a youngin, and i wont deny it.

but still its funny that HE doesnt know what it is and i do and he never had polio as he did not contract the poliomyelitis viral illness and did not become paralyzed as a result.

so after a good six hour work day he went home 2o'clock to get ready for his 330o'clock doctors appointment. at which he hopes to get steroids for his condition which is what the gave him for his lasts episode that was either lime disease or multiple sclerosis. it was a toss up between the two. ???? but any who it was neither. go figure. but they did give him some steroids for his eye that was hurt. not to be confused with the eye that is currently "not" blinking but is shutting when the other one shuts.

but i think that he forgot that the steroids was for that and not for the polio... i mean bells palsy. my bad. i know which diseases i have. dont patronize me!

well, its a five year long story of crazy illness and missing persons but i dont have the energy.

i did stay home with my family tonight and i so need to. except for the shopping outing for middle guy and smallish guy whos birthdays it is this weekend. 1 and 3. thanks again to josh for her making that possible. mucho too mucho.

feelin good. like a latin man should.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

a change of pace

the dark clouds still hover overhead. glimpses of light break through the darkness revealing calm peaceful skies beyond what my eyes can see. the weather here is often fair, even better still from time to time. but when it rains it pours. like a hurricane making landfall, the rain and wind and destruction in its path is devastating. there are no warnings, and no time for preparations. just waiting it out and holding with all my might hoping to see the light of day. but the storm continues. it seems to grow with intensity. ive been through it before. it will pass. i will survive. i will pick up the pieces. i will keep hoping. i will learn. i will be stronger. but still it remains. i fear that despite the calm that waits ahead, it will return again. taking me by surprise and leaving me defenseless against its awesome fury yet again. i will cherish every moment of peace until then.

i want to be fun and exciting. i want to tell wildly exaggerated stories that make you roll on the floor. i dont want you sobbing into your sleeves and losing sleep over me. so next time intend to stop this incessant whining that has become my blog.

i miss you mrs floyd. i hope to return to you shortly. your slightly less than stable superman.