Monday, August 3, 2009

Top Secret

for a majority of my day i was working on some repairs at the local reservist base. before when we were on site it was a military engineering project and any contractors had free reign to move about the area while their passes were valid. now that the area is under full operation and currently occupied by on duty guards men (and women) the atmosphere has drastically changed. their uniformed presence along with the assault rifles in tow and the occasional warning sign threatening the use of deadly force makes it much less fun.

usually we work with a really wild group of over paid characters who live life to the fullest. and of course by fullest i mean cussing spitting drinking partying at the strip club until 1 am and coming to work ...maybe...the next morning grumpy hungover and meaner than a cornered animal. but for the most part they are a lively bunch and things are very informal during the construction phase. thats not to mention the my getting paid twice as much as usual while on the base. always a plus.

today was even more different than when we usually work on non-construction areas as this was located in a highly restricted area. your movements are restricted to only your vehicle and and your work area. any thing else requires making a phone call to summon proper escort to other areas and theres a fair amount of waiting in order to do so. in addition, the areas you move to and from have barriers...not barriers...lines on the floor about four inches wide at most that you may not never, no way, no how, ever cross over or move in such a way that it may appear you would cross over those lines or you will undoubtedly suffer injury or death.

i am not a serious person. in fact, you know the saying, " theres a time for playing and a time for being serious."? i usually need someone to tell me when its time to be serious. however i find that within the gates of a military base, and further within the highly restricted areas within the gates of the military base, i am one of the most disciplined well behaved individuals you may ever meet.

whats funny about my trip today though was not something i did, but something i though my boss did. as we were working he was busting some tile up with a heavy duty oscillating bond scraper. he failed to notice the power cord in the path of the blade and in one fell swoop he cut through the wire, made a small fire, and broke the circuit which left us in the dark with only emergency lighting. coincidentally the fire alarms started to blare and a guardsman wandered over to ask if we had been starting fires in here...HA HA he thought... um well... so we told him what happened and he said it probably didnt cause the alarm but in any case we needed to exit the building.

apparently there is no such thing as a false alarm when there are enormous amounts of jet fuel just lying around. and so the fire dept. showed up in great form. i still am amazed at just how fast they arrived. all twenty of them there trucks loaded with men that looked like they were ready to launch into space. i guess shiny suits keep you from melting when all of the oxygen around you is instantly consumed and random objects combust and vaporize before your very eyes. funny enough they has huge tanks of compressed air strapped to their backs. i assume this is so that if by chance the fire gets too hot and you are gonna melt anyway the tank will explode and take you out with it. sparing you any suffering.

so as they search the building in really cool synchronized fashion i cant help but stand next to my boss but just far enough behind him to go unnoticed and point and shake my head as the super firefighters exit the building. they rest of the day went smooth and the whole event actually broke the tension a little so i was a bit more comfortable operating in that kind of environment. we should be finished tomorrow and return to the real world. i will be sure and double knot my laces so as to avoid tripping and falling over any "barriers" and thereby incurring any unwelcome gun shot wounds.

well i look forward to tonight. it looks like chores and bike riding are on the agenda so we get two for one. productivity and fun. thats a good evening.

by the way , tomorrow was the answer to the other days riddle. good job doug.
now try this one on for size.

Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man got wet! Why?


  1. Because all four of them got wet?

  2. Just looked up the answer. I got it wrong. Answer is still up for grabs!

  3. Dude, your day sounds like something off a movie. Wish I coulda seen the synchronized search.

    My pathetic attempt at an answer -> They were wearing wet suits.