Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Contest time!!!!!

i should be sleeping. the problem is that my schedule varies from time to time and when i have already fallen asleep for a short time and my wife asks me questions i have no problem answering them. i also have no idea what shes talking about. when a series of questioning starts out like... " what time you gettin up" i reply 5:15. next question is something like "are you going to bed or do you want to stay on the couch?" and the answer is. . . . sausage, thanks.

one would think that at that time a red flag would go up and you may realize that the person with whom you are speaking is no longer present and you may as well ask these same questions to yourself as you will have some conscious reasoning available to you even though you dont know the answer. i on the other hand have no credibility after sleepy time and then i end up awake and with nothing to do but blog. and eat. both of which are on the top of my fun list but are not nearly as beneficial as sleeping.

speakin of eatin, is it weird to have pizza for breakfast? well of course not duh. that was actually a set up question. i mean if you can eat pizza for breakfast why not bread sticks with peppercinni peppers and a side of yogurt. then to complete the whole breakfast experience captain crunch berries washed down with some vanilla coke. i knew you would understand.

so due to my fiercely competitive spirit i too will be having a contest to give away. and in proper competitive form my gift will be far better than my wifes. As you know i am a highly skilled and hard to acquire handy man who could really help with those projects youve been meaning to get to for the last five years. i can take them out like yesterdays garbage.

so you prize will be a full five day work week brought to you by yours truly in which time i will build remodel revamp redecorate or clean anything and everything. you name it!

thats right folks, and heres how to win....

if you live in a moderately tropical island zone of some sort and have extra room for my wife and kids (thadbefovum) and are willing to pay to have us flown to your island pick us up from the airport let us borrow your minivan when convenient and pay me 30 dollars an hour for the labor i would be providing to you (cause im such a nice guy) then you win!....uh, er, i mean that your chances of winning are significantly better than the rest! not that i would be rigging the contest or anything.

off to work now.

good luck to all contestants, i will announce the winner tomorrow.


  1. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day...

  2. Here's my contest entry:

    Gots me a plot o' land surrounded by drainage ditch that's sorta moderately tropical and island-like, all y'all can stay in ma barn, I'll pay fer yer gas ta git heer, y'uns can barraw ma lawn tractor & wagon for haulin' the wife & kiddies, 'n I'll pay ya in meatballs fer yer werk.

  3. Can somebody slap him please? Oh no, wait, that's my job.