wheel-hair eye yam-show lap knee seal a- in crawl may Joe!

yeah its a stretch.....but in celebration of my two day streak i had to give a little of myself.

i didnt think much about knowledge today, not as much as i thought i might at two in the morning when i thought about it. but for kicks lets go down that road a moment longer. how long is the literary mile any way? if i say come with me a mile, and so you are required two, how long exactly are you gonna be required to tag along regardless of how dehydrating-ly dry the following text becomes? hopefully its far enough, because despite my horribly misplaced biblical reference which even in legitimate context is horribly misconstrued, i promise to have truly delightful fun for all. so the knowledge. lets get on with it man! knowledge even at its best, is flawed. take the best text books and the most promising scientists research today, give it twenty years and id be shocked and she-grinned i you not only found new material in them, but also corrected material.thats just twenty years, give it a hundred and all of a sudden we are looking like the dark ages back here in the most informational, technological society in history. thats really not saying much is it.

so then theres the "special" knowledge. the knowledge that goes beyond research and basic intuition. this is in the territory of secret age old knowledge that you can not discover but be entrusted with by one to whom said info was previously passed down.

exploring further, in the case of actual knowledge, there is finally divine revelation.it is not flawed, it does not change, it is not discovered, it exists in God. His is the fullness of knowledge. He gives to whom He chooses as He chooses and as much as He chooses. and to whom he gives he also gives the capacity to understand. there is no barrier of intelligence or effort. in the case that he audibly or visually reveals to you in the way that only he, can information he deemed necessary for you to know, you will surely no stand thereafter scratching your head going, "so what now? i dont get it."

the last category i present to you encompasses all of the cases in which people search for, seek after, or claim to have witnessed so as that some secret "special" knowledge is the result. there are too many to name but a few i have in mind are those like dubious conspirators, religious leaders, and the political social class. the list is extensive and these opinions are by no means based on scientific research.....just how i see things. perhaps there are more categories and better argument for and against such a position, but i dont have any interest in proving my case. i only observe and report. theres not much you can say to one who witnesses something and tells you about it besides," i dont believe you." observing something doesnt make what i have to say about it correct, but whats true is how i veiw these things i witness.

the pursuit of knowledge is noble, and fruitful. i love it. unfortunately to this point in my life ive not experienced any divine revelation nor do i have any ties to secret family ordinances (that is, if i did i couldnt tell you.....but i dont) also, i dont really even mind people seeking after meaningless dead end wild goose sort of stuff. after all its that very search that could end up bringing them to real moral conviction. my problem lies with the folks who prey on the ignorant and naive. they give false arguments or testimony and urge people to take serious considerations of their message or suffer the consequences. and thereby holding a power over them as only these leaders posses and can recieve the special knowledge.

so any who, its hunting season. im not hunting of course, but there is some wild game running round the parts. and so i do what i must, and nurture the desire for my young to learn the basic skills of survival.


i think the children have a fairly healthy perspective on animals and thier functions. they clearly respect life but have a strange fascination with hunting and even when presented with the idea of death and blood and these things that are a part the hunting experience they still seem positive . hopefully chandler will join me soon for some sitting. i am planning to watch some deer and explain the basic processes that would take place. and if fortunate enough to see deer on multiply outings work our way up to actually taking a deer and beginning the first steps toward a young respectful hunter. i wont demand my children hunt. but i will try and persuade them to have the knowledge it takes to be effective if they would ever have the need. hunting, gathering, building fire, finding or making shelter. there is much i will give to my children as they become of age and most of it will have some useful application (specifically principles and a biblical moral foundation) but providing for yourself and others in times of crisis are invaluable and unfortunately a growingly less popular area of education. we depend so much on the way the world runs, the way we expect it to keep running. but perhaps there will be a time when in our lives when or our childrens or thiers, that knowledge as important as this will be useful. then again its always been fun just being in the woods and doing manly stuff. :)

i need to close my eyes. this is not cohesive to typing. im outta here.

g'nite

forever and a fortnight....

oh how i love the, let me count the ways...

i have neglected myself. unintentionally mind you. but this is no matter. i love writing. i dont know what to call it, i dont know what im doing, i only know the feeling i get when my mind spills out into this box. (the one you cannot see of course but the one i am typing into currently, the one you likely are fondly familiar with if you count yourself in the blogging lot. thats the one.)

so as i set out to say i have been longing for this moment that has been for so long without precedence in respect to the demands of my life. but now in this moment i wallow in the freedom and pleasure it is to tell you that which you need not know. things that concern me and not you but that i care to broadcast here for my entertainment and yours.

i have pictures, i have themes, i have entire blogs posts stuck in my head begging to be known. but that requires gathering complete thoughts, organizing them, and painstakingly critiquing very words i chose so carefully. the same ones i would have haphazardly blurted out in mere moments to just about anyone with ears.

-by the way i really like the word tremendous, i really do. :)

so instead of killing the moment i will just give you a few words to chew on and leave the real posting for times when life is more suitable for sitting down and being creative....and painstaking...

what is it about people that lead them to seek "special knowledge". not even for the sake of knowing, rather possessing. knowledge is funny.

when i think of knowledge i cant help but think of the garden and that tree. that tree of the knowledge of good and evil. did this tree have special powers. was it just another tree in the garden with only special significance in the sense that God said dont eat of it? when she ate did she have some magical transforming life experience, or was it just guilt. maybe she ate a piece of normal fruit that she wasnt allowed to because God had said. and when she ate it she had only eaten a peice of fruit, but in doing so had now possessed the knowledge of good and evil.

since the beginning we have had knowledge, but not all knowledge. in pursuit of greater understanding we go to great lengths but with no end. we cannot create life, we cannot stop death when it is at hand. in this vast universe we are limited to our tiny speck of a place. in the thousands of years we have been here we have made huge advances in information and the many uses of it. yet everyday we discover more and more still, yet with that understanding comes even more questions than answers.


i can barely keep my eyes open and work is getting closer by the second, i still have so much more to say, so maybe this can be a two part series, but its hard to say when i will return, so take it for what it is. what is knowledge? why do we desire it? what are the effects of it. these are somethings i will be pondering at work tomorrow. looking forward to it already!

crash and burn

what a week. late shift, lot of hard work and immovable deadlines...do or die. i have done better this time around than ever before. my intensity level is not what it should be, but my involvement and temperament along with making the most of the time i had with the family and friends made it just about as good as it could have been.

someone once told me that i need not worry to much about the quality of my work when at a particular job site. i was fussing over some imperfections and being my meticulous self. he just went and said it. " man, its a turd. you know what? you can clean it, polish it, you can do just about anything you want to it.... but when your done its still gonna be a turd"

i really dont agree with that advice. not most of the time. i feel like someone should always make the most of what they have. but in some cases i feel like i can relate. even if your nature is to make the most of the turd. its probably a healthy perspective to at least call it what it is. i mean reality is sobering sometimes. and when your feeling down, and your doing everything you can and still its not enough, it helps to take a step back and look at it for what it is. and maybe.... just maybe, you will see that its ok that you cant do more. maybe you just cant because your doing what you can with what you have and your expectations are just unrealistic considering the circumstances.

this week was a turd. i made the most of it. i wish it was better. but its all i had to work with. in the end, i am just ecstatic to look back and see what a great week it was despite any hardships.

now im ready to crash. watching the steelers game and chillin with the missus. hoping im recuperated by the morning in time for work.

Mattitude!

so i pulled into the "24 hour" steak and shake. i was greeted by a clerk who informed me they had just closed... its 2:45 and i want a shake and your a 24 hour store thats only open till three and your lights on the highway sign and your closed?

"uh, yeah..."

k, thanks for nothin.

so i go to taco bell and get what i didnt want and paid more than i wanted for it. on my return trip i noticed the now fully closed steak and shake where the employee who greeted me before was standing in front of his open hood and shaking his head. i parked my work van in the adjacent lot where i was working and he shouted over, "got any jumper cables?"

"OH! im sorry.... i do have some but they like just closed dude. slow night."

happy trails sucka:)

my attempt at stripping...comic stripping :-)

so its rough, but im trying it on for size. i am really fond of the name and i think i can do a lot with it unless someone has already claimed it of course... should probably check into that. but any who, i am going to work on some character modification and maybe try to develop a few common places in which they may appear. havent decided yet but im thinkin no dialogue. so with out further adieu i give you My Sentiments Exactly



apparently if you click on the images you will see an enlarged photo. as i do not have a scanner, digital photo will be the means of publishing for now. the basic idea is a family with common family drama and or classic candid moments that simply have no barriers. most families should be able to relate in some way but im guessing most could say...my sentiments exactly. we'll see. maybe look forward to one every two weeks or so. as time permits. this was just something i thought of this afternoon. and conveniently i was home from work.

until next time.

mattitude

unconscious consciousness

the title is my current and perhaps mostest favoritest google status yet. periodically it changes. either because a fellow gmailer has posted something witty which demands an attempt at an equally clever response, or i simply am tired of the old one. this one fits.

i was thinking this morning, as i lay in bed reflecting on my dreams from the night, that during the day i almost feel like im dreaming despite my obviously alert state. i intelligently interact with the world around me (most of the time), i use dangerous equipment and drive vehicles, and care for little people. i accomplish just all sorts of things that require movement of my person and even more so appropriately responding when encountering the environment surrounding me.

while i make a good show of my mental presence, i can assure you that i am more often than not in some other place doing something totally obscure. for example, when my wife frequently relays to me things she finds interesting or important she tends to do it in very long periods of time. i find that when she begins her tales i am very much with her. however, much later in the conversation or even at the end i find that im still back at the beginning where we started. i call it a conversation because she talks, i talk (respond appropriately) and so on until its all over. then when i realize that i just missed everything but the first minute of dialogue i confess to her my absence and we have the conversation all over again. and theres no garuantee that i stick around for the second go at it either.

then there are times when she will say to me something and i will think in my head what i want to say. and even think that i said it. unfortunately i dont realize that i have not responded until she has already begun to talk to her self and left me in the dust. " look, see what i did for you? isnt it nice?" she says. "yes thanks very nice" i think. "yes dear, oh i love it! you did this just for me? oh you are so great honey!" she says to her self. "well i thought you would like it." she says. " oh, i do very much, im just so impressed by your hard work and motivation." she says again to herself.....then im back. "What?" i cant help but wonder who shes talking to cause i know it aint me. so she informs me, "well i asked if youd notice what i did and you didnt say anything so i just started talking to myself." " i told you yes and i thought it was nice! what more do you want?" i defend myself. "no you didnt you just sat there." she claims...

so you see, while i am awake more than any other person i know, and perform various complicated and skillful tasks on a daily basis, while also being responsible for the well being of multiply children at any given time, i tend to be a little spacey.

the funniest part to me is the type of things i wander to. its seemingly random, but usually has some sort of ties to something going on around me. if not the conversation i am not aware of then something in my environment that sparked a chain of thoughts that lead to something i could hold on to. for instance, chris is talking about some beans in a soup shes never heard of and she might like to try to make sometime, that makes me think of the beans that the kids planted from the beans they picked off of the beans i planted this spring and how amazed i was that they actually grew, then i began thinking of my silly little garden and the summer we had and how well it did despite the weather, which made me think wow, what a mild summer it was, and then i felt a little smug about all the global warming crap, and then finally i remembered a little portion of a video i recently previewed which explain the relation of the moon to the circulation of the earths water, and the earths water plays a major role in regulating the our surface temperature by absorbing heat from the sun. isnt it funny that the scientist are putting so much concern into the fact that ice is melting in the polar regions (supposedly). if there is that much ice up there that its melting would cause global flooding. and the earths temperature is rising due to rising temperature from the suns "sun spot activity" then wouldnt it only make sense that the earth melt some ice create more water and control the rise in temp. (this would mean that despite the rise in the suns temperature and our ice melting the surface temperature of the earth would only tend to vary slightly in effect) also if the sun did slow in sun spot activity (which it seems to be doing according to the latest reports) then it would only make sense that the resulting even cooler temperatures would then cause ice making in the polar regions and therefore more ice and less water........MATT! ....huh?....." i said what are you thinking about" chris says again when she finally breaks through.

so then im left to explain. usually i just say something like, oh you dont wanna know, but that doesnt usually fly either, so then how do i explain how i am thinking about the sun and scientists and non man made global warming and cooling cycles and my uneducated opinion of them?

speaking of dreams.. i was speaking of dreams earlier wasnt i? my dreams dont have a lot of meaning from what i can tell. most of the time i can even give a logical explanation for their content. but sometimes i cant. sometimes its just random bits of stuff that dont make sense and i chalk up to dreams. interestingly though, seemingly random and inexplicable dreams revisit me in my consciousness further down the line. surely you have had dejavu. i think everyone has experienced it at one time or another. you visit someplace you've never been but its familiar, or you do something you know youve never done but when your doing it you remember something like youve done it.

i have experienced times when i thought i was having dejavu only to then remember that it wasnt something i thought i had done or someplace i had been, but something i had dreamt. ready to be really weirded out. after realizing something seemed familiar from a dream, and realizing i wasnt having dejavu, the dream now seemed very clear and present and i just sat and watched happen what i knew would happen as it was happening because i had dreamt it before and was remembering it now and watching it in amazement as it was happening.... just to be clear this isnt a case of observing the recalling then reasoning. this is observing, recalling, waiting and expecting a specific outcome and watching it take place exactly as i expected it would. when the dream to my recollection stops, so does the seeing of the future stuff, and its over. nothing tragic or significant has ever happened during these instances, and i cant explain it any better nor do i know which dreams it will be or when it might happen. i am just so curious about why this happens and what causes it. if i hadnt experienced it i might have said it was impossible... or at least been skeptical as to why it would even happen if werent at all significant. i dont suppose there is any reasonable explanation. but i hope to find others with similar experiences who might share some input. perhaps it is more common than i think, or maybe there are far weirder experiences than mine. i must say that while it draws the fullest of my interest i realize it is a topic that has the potential of drawing the fullest of weirdos out there and so i dont often talk about it to strangers. in this case there are only a handful of people who actually read my blog and im not concerned about your leaving my high and dry or you telling me that aliens give you dreams about the future so i feel relatively safe.

maybe i should give it a rest now. perhaps next time i will have a cartoon to offer. the latest and greatest in floyd toonage. later

antique roadshow

its 230 a.m. and i am not tired. i worked a good amount today. not too much not too little. i piddled in the yard and played at the park with my younguns and our friends. put the kids to bed and already posted a blog. and here i am, everyone has been asleep for hours. i settled into my space on the couch and flipped through the channels and totally expected to turn in for the night. but my eyes just wont stay closed.

so while i seem to have had a full day and anticipate a 14 to 16 hour day tomorrow i cant tell you how concerned i am that i am not sleeping. i typically dont sleep well. but i do sleep. and when i dont sleep i start to act sort of funny. not funny haha but funny wacko. my already short attention span is exaggerated and im easily distracted. i think about the usual stuff but in greater detail. its like having the radio on and blaring out to your favorite songs, you hear people talking but you cant hear what they are sayin. even better is when i find myself amusing. so amusing that i laugh out loud. and then laugh harder because i laughed out loud and then i cant stop laughing and then by the time its over i am laying on the floor drooling and still nobody has a clue whats happening. i tried once to explain what was so funny, and it wasnt so funny. you know how good it feels when someone who shares your sense of humor encourages you to just keep going but everyone else is like " its not that funny" its kinda like that but you are the one telling the jokes and laughing and no one else gets it.


wow that was just random and i have no idea where i was going with that.

right i get distracted easily. funny. k.

its nice when you forget how you got somewhere to just look back and find the path you took.

its just charming the convenient products they advertise on late night television. are people who view late night television just stupid or are they so tired that they are dooped into buying this crazy stuff. its like hey we have one dollar bills for sale here, AND THEY ARE GREEN! but hurry act now because supplies are limited. if you hurry we will send you two of these fabulous dollar bills for just two easy payments of 14.99. how about the religious people. they sing you a song and ask you if you need more money. then someone comes and gives a testimonial..." i needed four hundred dollars to pay my house rent and i didnt have it. but i saw benni prayin on the tv and he said if i just sent him five hundred dollars that jesus would provided for my needs. and so i sent him my five hundred. i had to sell my car and my blood to get it but i planted a seed and i have faith that somehow some way i will have the four hundred dollars i need to pay my rent so i dont have to make my kids sleep under a bridge.

so basically you have got antiques and poker. the roadshow is awesome but also a little offensive. your wondering how you night be able to save up the money for that new ...... you saw and would make your life a lot easier. then some kid comes in a goes hey i found this in the garage and they are like hey "thats worth a million dollars" but wait" that shirt you are wearing, its from 875b.c. and its worth five trillion dollars" just not right.

i must say this post will fall into the category of like worst blog ever. but it entertained me during my sleepless late night tv watching and i rather enjoyed just spilling out what ever came to mind. so now at 344 i am going to grab a snack and sit here and ponder a bit before trying again to sleep for at least a couple of hours.

if i think of anything profound i will be sure and notify you asap. until next time....